Top Gear turns Bailey Pageant caravan into train carriage

by Chris Jefferies
The BBC’s most three notorious caravan haters, Jeremy Clarkson, James May, and Richard Hammond, reignited their relationship with tourers last night, when they tried to create an affordable and exciting train for the 21st century.
Using a workshop on the restored heritage railway from Leicester to Loughborough, the team converted a string of caravans, including a Bailey Pageant Champagne CD, into a series of train carriages.
The first class section featured a garish interior makeover; with wingback leather chairs, decorative plants, antique furniture and even a stuffed animal head on the wall.
However, their first choice of towcar/locomotive, a rear-wheel drive Jaguar XJS convertible, did not have the sufficient traction to shift the carriages, which must have had a combined weight well in excess of five tonnes.
After much arguing, James May suggested a more sensible Audi S8 as the four-wheel drive solution to their problems, which worked a treat.
Despite the boys’ delight at their wonderful creation, their passengers, all of whom where train inspectors, were less impressed by the caravan train.
The excessive noise, bumpy ride and meagre catering provisions were all singled out for praise, but eventually (and somewhat predictably), it was the flammability of the caravans that proved their downfall.
Charged with catering duties, Richard Hammond took it upon himself to cook some chips on the stove, which lead to the buffet car being reduced to a smouldering wreck.
As if that wasn’t enough, the show finished with the rear carriage being smashed to pieces by a freight locomotive.
To watch the entire show on BBC iPlayer, click here (the caravan train feature starts around the 21-minute mark), but squeamish caravanners may be best advised to watch through their fingers.
Fans of the Top Gear caravan train can see Jeremy Clarkson’s Sports Train on display at the Beaulieu National Motor Museum