by Joe Jeffrey
Hereon follows an open letter to Jeremy Clarkson, following the BBC’s disposal of his services from Top Gear earlier this week
Dear Jeremy,
We feel a bit sorry for you here at CaravanTimes. Following recent events, you must be short of a few quid and the weekly visits to the Job Centre will, no doubt, be tough. That’s the reason for me writing this open letter to you.
I’ve decided to cut to the chase and – subject to references – hereby offer you a position as resident TV presenter here at CaravanTimes.
I’ve got to admit, the job is pretty fun and will see you tour around the country reviewing a wide range of leisure vehicles – similar to your previous Top Gear presenting role.
You obviously have more experience with caravans than most broadcasters, having been involved in the odd caravan “fracas” or two over the years, but now we are offering you the opportunity to do something a little more constructive within the leisure industry.
Day to day duties will include
Sure, you’ve not always been the most popular among our readership in the past, but we’re keen to give you the chance to change their opinion of you, some of which have included:
“I cannot stand the bloke, he’s an overpaid w****er”
“Ugly people keep saying ugly things, and will continue to do so”
“Typical Top Gear s**t, as expected from Clarkson”
“…I think he is the most arrogant t**t on TV today”
Please note
Should you wish to accept our offer, we will require four weeks’ notice in order for our production team to complete self-defence training.
In closing, we’d love for you to become a member of the CaravanTimes team and are sure our legion of readers would too, so what do you say Jezza?
Yours sincerely,
Joe Jeffrey
